I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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