you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
