You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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