Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
