I CAN MOONWALK!
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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