I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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