he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
