Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
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