Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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