Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
