I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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