I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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