even my farts smell like vagina
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
