OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
