Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
