i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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