sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
