Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
