I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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