Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
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