awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You may now shotgun with the bride
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
