I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
