Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Randomize
