Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
