It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
