You work out of a Hotel?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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