Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
