i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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