Don't you send me to vm
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Randomize
