She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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