Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
