Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
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