How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
