on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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