i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
