im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
