Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
