So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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