you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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