I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
we're making bets on your personal life
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
