Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
