we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
