My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
