happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
