speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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