It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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