At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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