GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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