dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
