He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
