Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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