before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
