i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
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