I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
