we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Randomize
