is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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