i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
