dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
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